theredmonster

Hi.

Was just thinking of many things that i couldn't do (currently) and thought that i should just list it down for future references :

1.) Wear a tube / tube dress / tube romper
- because of my tanlines, it is REALLY ugly wearing tubes
2.) Wear a cropped tee (nicely)
- Just got myself some cropped tees and i really wonder how am i gna wear it. My body colour is gonna scare you all! Like a fair chinese toned body and indian toned extremities.
3.) Do hair treatments!!!
- My grass hair is annoying me day by day, but because i'm swimming, hair treatment = waste $$$
4.) Perm my hair!
- Recently just feeeel like perming my hair hehehe big curlssss
5.) Tattoos
- OHMIGOD, I really have been saying this since FURREVA? And apparently never came true. Seeing steph's tatts just make me jealous. K... Sept.... Just wait.. yeah?


Shall just list down 5 things first. Will really relax after september's nationals! C'monnnnnnnn just 3 more months <3 <3 <3 <3
We can do it!

I don't know what really am i going through now. I need some people there for me at this point of helpless period, but yet i don't know where to start telling them this. In the end, i think it's better for me to just shut up, don't whine, and just don't think.

But the more i tell myself not to think, the more it seems to be lingering on my mind. Fuck, today is like the worst day ever. I CRIED, AGAIN. Then at circle line, the train broke down, so i ended up waiting around 20minutes. The crowd keep gathering and i just pluck on my earpiece and ignore what's going on. Then the train came and i just got on, without knowing the fact that the usual announcement of "Door's closing" was said when i made my way into the train. Bingo, i got kiap. And the train doors don't let go, it keep squeezing me and everyone inside just look helplessly on how i keep forcing my way through the two heavy doors. That time, it felt like hell. I think i almost faint because everything seems to happen so quickly and blurry. Today i also almost got bang by a car and a motorbike. I don't know what's wrong with me. My head hurts.

Yesterday was not better. WAIT, SINCE WHEN HAS MY THIS WEEK BEEN GOOOD? Having to tolerate such nonsenscial rubbish which totally gone over my limits. My patience died. I've cried. I've thought so so so much. Just because of a ... person who probably would not be a GOOD friend of mine anymore. And im fucking sad how much i'm commited to this team, how much i care about this team because it's stupid to when the other party just keep mum about everything, i'm sometimes not a very responsible person. I don't know why for this thing i've to be responsible that made my life so damn miserable for the past few days. I could have just leave, i could just give up, but part of me cared. BUT.. Fuck, what's the use of caring so much when.. the main problem is just there and ME MYSELF can't even do to make it.. work? This sucks. Seriously.

I'm not in a relationship, yet i've been crying, thinking alot, quarrel with my best friend when i've NEVER ever had a real argument with any of my friends before, because of this person who is NOT MY BOYFRIEND. And worst thing, this is not a relationship, i can't say, BREAK UP in this case. THIS SUCKS THIS SUCKS THISSSSSSS SUCKS LIKE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAK. IT TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP, BUT YET THIS MAIN HAND IS DISABLED, WITH NO SIGNS OF TRYING TO MOVE ON ITS OWN. HOW CAN THE OTHER HAND CLAP? OR MAYBE, IT SHOULD SLAP SINCE IT TAKES ONLY 1 HAND TO DO IT.
I feel like breaking your head up and have a brain transplant on you, so everything can change. BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHZXZXZ I WANNA SCREAM. HELP!

Would totally need a job right now, i hate it when i'm low on cash. Haven't actually done shopping for a long period of time! Trng in the morn', plan to watch finish season 1 of GG for the rest of my sunday afternoon- done! The 9episodes totally make my head spins right now. Start of attachment for the 2nd batch tomorrow, wellwellwellll, good luck loves. It will be over soon (:

Yayness!

x ATTACHMENT IS GONNA END IN TWO MORE DAYS!
x BUT I WILL DEFFO MISS THE PEOPLE THERE SO SO SO MUCH! WEIRD TO HEAR THIS FROM ME, BUT THIS IS LIKE THE BEST ATTTACHMENT! <3 <3 INSIDE JOKES, BEING REMEMBERED, HAVING OPPORTUNITY TO DO SKILLS AND LEARN. SORRY TTSH, BUT I'M HAPPY I'M IN AH NOW :)
x REALLY GONNNA START REAL TRAINING FROM NEXT WEEK ONWARDS.
x NEED TO DESTROY THOSE I-WANNA-TOTALLY-QUIT-SWIMMING THOUGHTS.
x DAMN HAPPY MY INTERNET + MIOTV IS FINALLY HERE, AFTER OH-SO-LONG. YAYNESS TO FAST INTERNET!!! :D
x CAN'T WAIT FOR EXAMS RESULTS TO COME OUT ON 23RD! (HAPPY/SAD?)
x ANYONE GOING FOR BEN&JERRY'S FREE CONE DAY ON THE 23RD AS WELL?
x BEEEN REALLY ADDICTED TO GOSSIPGIRL RECENTLY, I KNOW RIGHT, I'M LIKE 1234567890 SLOWER THAN NORMAL PEOPLE BUT HECK, GONNA WATCH MOVIES DURING THE HOLIDAYS.
x NEED TO TAKE UP JOBS MANZ, I ACTUALLY LET GO A EASY $10/HR JOB CAUSE OF THE INTERVIEW TIMINGS. FREAK MANZ, REALLY.
x READ A TOTALLY OF 3 BOOKS IN LESS THAN A MONTH. GOOD FOR ME BECAUSE I'M NOT A BOOKWORM..
x NEED TO LEARN TO PUT MY PRIDE DOWN. downdowndowndown~
x AND FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE READING THIS AND FINDS A NEED TO CATCH UP WITH ME DURING THE HOLIDAYS, FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME @ 9677XXXX OR MSN OKAY:) REALLY NEED TO STICK ALL MY FRIENDS BACK.

I'M IN A HAPPY MOOD TODAY, CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE I WANNA LET YOU GUYS KNOW HOW HAPPY I'M, HEHEHHHHH.